SHOULD THE ELEVATOR DOORS FAIL TO OPEN OR THE ELEVATOR BECOME INOPERATIVE, PLEASE DO NOT BECOME ALARMED. PLEASE USE THE BUTTON MARKED "ALARM" TO REQUEST ASSISTANCE OR TELEPHONE "IF FURNISHED." REMAIN IN THE CAR UNTIL ASSISTANCE ARRIVES AND DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FORCE THE DOORS OR HATCH OPEN.
For some reason I found the contrast between the first two sentences very funny.
Perhaps I'm just tired.